More Tales from the Nether Regions

I went to Boots yesterday and bought a battery of creams, washes and anti-itch stuff. Lanacane, Vagisil, you name it. I decided to try an experiment. If I smear greasy cream on the front bottom first, it might form a barrier so that when I apply anti-itch cream to the rear, it can't migrate. Why weren't we designed with an anus underneath our foot? Mind you, walking on piles would hurt, and what would happen if you had your foot cut off? Reminds me of the old saying, 'If your nose runs and your feet smell, you must be upside down'.