I had a disturbing dream last night that is preying on my mind. It starred close friend called Barbara, who died of a stroke aged 59, three years ago this month. I miss her greatly as she was a unique, talented, supremely witty woman, a complete one-off, stubborn and feisty, an RAF officer's daughter who ever suffered fools gladly. The fact that this was the first time I had dreamed about her since she died feels significant, somehow.
In the dream, I was in a bronze car with her, which matched her bronze coloured coat. For some odd reason, she was disguised as rabbi, with long black ringlets, yarmulka and a straggly beard, and black-rimmed glasses. She said there was a reason why she was in hiding but she wouldn't tell me. She was driving me away but I didn't want to go and asked to be let out of the car. Then she said she needed to speak to my partner. I got out and she drove off (very badly, I may add, on the wrong side of the road; in life Barbara, like me, never learned to drive). She came back with Mr G in the back seat and I stood by the window talking to her. In a low voice, she asked if the papers he had signed that concerned me were legal. Suddenly, I knew she was talking about his Will. He downloaded a form off the internet and got the neighbours to sign as witnesses, so I don't know if it is legal or not.
She took off her false beard and wig, revealing a hair-do that looked very like my own. I tried to climb into the back seat next to Mr G, but she said no, and took off in a hurry, leaving me with one foot in the car, hanging onto the open door. I fell off onto the grass verge and they disappeared into the distance. Then I woke up.
It's got me rattled. I hope it wasn't a premonition that something bad is going to happen to him...
5 days ago