Losing a baby

My poor god-daughter has lost her baby. It was her first pregnancy. Unknown to her, she has a Rhesus Negative blood group while her husband is Rhesus Positive and this, combined with low progesterone production, combined to cause problems. When she told me she was pregnant, I was thrilled to bits. It also touched a deep, deep part of me relating to my own pregnancy with the daughter I was forced to give up for adoption in the 1960s, my gorgeous, perfect baby. I came out of the maternity ward, handed her over to social workers, then went to an all-night party to drown my sorrows. Halfway through it, my milk came in. The pain was agonising. I had to go back to the hospital next day for tablets to dry up the milk. Following that, I had two blank years of feeling nothing for anybody or anything, culminating in a marriage to a man I hardly knew.

When I heard the news that my god-daughter, who I love dearly, was expecting, I cried for an entire day, pouring cathartic tears, that maybe I should have wept all those years ago. After the crying bout was over, I was on Cloud Nine, dying to be a great-godmum. Now, I am devastated, both for her, because of the agony she has been through and the deep grief she and her husband are experiencing, and for me, too, because it feels like losing my own daughter all over again. I hope that now they know about the blood groups, the gynaecologist will give her the proper medical help she needs next time round, and I hope that the 'next time' won't be too far off. She is 34 and doesn't want to leave it too much longer.

Book news: I am having to axe an entire chapter because it just didn't work. And my agent still hasn't emailed me the list of potential new agents he was going to give me. But then, it is Bank Holiday and I'm sure he has much better things to do with his time. He and his wife have bought a wonderful mansion in Devon that they rent out to holidaymakers. www.SoldonManor.com if anyone is interested. And now my font and type size seems to have gone funny!