Monday, 5 May 2008

Losing a baby

My poor god-daughter has lost her baby. It was her first pregnancy. Unknown to her, she has a Rhesus Negative blood group while her husband is Rhesus Positive and this, combined with low progesterone production, combined to cause problems. When she told me she was pregnant, I was thrilled to bits. It also touched a deep, deep part of me relating to my own pregnancy with the daughter I was forced to give up for adoption in the 1960s, my gorgeous, perfect baby. I came out of the maternity ward, handed her over to social workers, then went to an all-night party to drown my sorrows. Halfway through it, my milk came in. The pain was agonising. I had to go back to the hospital next day for tablets to dry up the milk. Following that, I had two blank years of feeling nothing for anybody or anything, culminating in a marriage to a man I hardly knew.

When I heard the news that my god-daughter, who I love dearly, was expecting, I cried for an entire day, pouring cathartic tears, that maybe I should have wept all those years ago. After the crying bout was over, I was on Cloud Nine, dying to be a great-godmum. Now, I am devastated, both for her, because of the agony she has been through and the deep grief she and her husband are experiencing, and for me, too, because it feels like losing my own daughter all over again. I hope that now they know about the blood groups, the gynaecologist will give her the proper medical help she needs next time round, and I hope that the 'next time' won't be too far off. She is 34 and doesn't want to leave it too much longer.

Book news: I am having to axe an entire chapter because it just didn't work. And my agent still hasn't emailed me the list of potential new agents he was going to give me. But then, it is Bank Holiday and I'm sure he has much better things to do with his time. He and his wife have bought a wonderful mansion in Devon that they rent out to holidaymakers. if anyone is interested. And now my font and type size seems to have gone funny!


Jacula said...

Hydra - I cannot understand how losing the baby happened, in this day and age. I don't want to distress you but how soon did your Goddaughter see a doctor? When I was expecting my son back in 1983, the first thing the doctor did was to test my blood. When he found out I was A Rhesus Negative he immediately asked for my hubby to come in (after asking, to the degree that I became a little offended, if my hubby was the father of my child). Only about 8% of the population are (or were, at that time) A Negative, but, it turned out my hubby was one of that 8%. His mother was also A Neg. Both of our children are. Thing is, if he'd been a Positive blood group, they'd have given me an 'anti-d' injection immediately after the birth, so that any child following would not have been killed by the antibodies my body would have put in place after the first pregnancy. The first pregnancy would also have been monitored three times as closely as would be normal.

All that said, you already know how sorry I feel for your loss and understand the double whammy effect it has had on you. xxx

Re the scrapped book chapter. Save what you can for another story and forge ahead anew.

Jacula said...

BTW, the agent's manor house looks lovely but a bit pricey for two. Good for a group booking for special occasions, though.

Incidentally, how did you post that 'clickable' link? I haven't worked out how to do that yet.

Yes, the font size and type does go funny when you add things. What usually works for me to put it right is to click 'Control+A' (highlighting ALL of the text)after posting (in the 'edit' mode' and change it back to what type and size etc., that you want.

hydra said...

Thanks for those comments, Jac. I'll email you.