Sunday, 23 March 2008

Houseplant hell

This is the orchid I was given for my birthday. Exquisite, exotic... I wonder how long I can keep it alive? I have a dismal record when it comes to indoor plants. Outdoor, no problem. I have created gardens from piles of bricks and builders' rubble and everything I planted, honeysuckle, hebe and mallow, lavender, rosemary and roses, all thrived. But indoors, as opposed to green fingers, mine are the black fingers of houseplant doom. I have kept the instructions. I know I should water it once a week, or even less, and let it dry out completely between waterings, and should feed it every third watering.

What will be its defeat is the temperature. It is supposed to be kept out of bright sunlight (can do), in a temperature that never sinks below 18 degrees C (no can do). Mr Grumpy's kitchen is freezing at night. It's freezing in the daytime. It has no radiator, just a fan heater that is only switched on if the kitchen is occupied. The other rooms aren't much better. My bedroom was 9 degrees C when I got up this morning. He hates having the central heating on and has run out of wood for the stove. I can't type with blue fingers. I can't wait for Spring.

On a more cheerful note, I have completed Chapter Six today and my word total now is a staggering 24,818. Considering I only began the book two weeks ago, and did nothing whatsoever to it over last weekend, which was my birthday, I think I have done pretty well. In fact, I deserve a glass of wine. Cheers!

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