More symptoms...

As you know, I am a walking encyclopaedia of minor medical symptoms. The athlete's foot is currently under control thanks to regular sprinklings of Mycil powder, the fungal toenail is being plastered in Tea Tree Fungal Nail solution and I'm stuffing down the probiotics like there was no tomorrow, imagining all the good little buglets doing battle with the bad ones and my guts somewhat resembling the bloody battlefields of Waterloo or Culloden.

Then this morning... a brand new symptom! I got out of the car in the town centre, on my way to the bank, and as I did so, everything reeled and I felt as if I were going to fall flat on my face. Mindful of the fact that the partner had had a stroke, a friend of mine had mini strokes last week and our cheery postman had also had a suspected mini stroke last week, I instantly thought I was heading for the stroke ward, too and walked very slowly to the bank, WH Smith and all my other ports of call, ending with an appointment with the chiropractor (every six weeks, neck improving no end).

By the time I had decided I wasn't going to keel over and have some stranger call 999 after pinching my handbag, I realised I had a headache, possibly a migraine on the way, that I had earache and a possible ear infection and that, having shifted more boxes into the storage unit, I was tired. I also reminded myself that I'm 62, not 32 (I wish!). Neck problems can cause dizzy spells, too. In fact, I have a whole host of reasons to choose from. But I still feel just a bit uneasy about it.

On Thursday I fly to Newquay to be a pirate. Only at the Falmouth Shout shanty groups annual bash, but nevertheless, I don't want to either keel over or be keel-hauled. I might squash my parrot!