Green tomatoes

I have just written this poetic plea to these, my recalcitrant tomato plants.

GREEN TOMATOES


I've watered them and watched them grow, they've all been trussed and fed,
my salad bowl is waiting but the bastards won't turn red.
I've scolded and cajoled them, but they're not in any rush.
I've even told them dirty jokes but they won't even blush.

I've praised and cursed and blessed them. I've begged them, "Don't be mean!"
But they just dangle there and sneer and stay that stubborn green.
"Hey toms, you've got till Monday to go pink or gold or red.
If not, I'll rip your roots out and you will all be dead!"

The leaves begin to shiver as in a sudden breeze
and I stand there all a-quiver as a voice comes from the leaves.
"Hey human, hold your horses, there's no need for that threat.
The reason why we're staying green is, we're scared of being ate!"