Imagine this. I'm sitting in the garden, coffee in hand, eyes drowsy, face raised to the sun, absorbed in the unaccustomed warmth and the soothing chirps of the sparrows, when suddenly a sound impinges on my consciousness. Buzzzzz. I look down to see a large wasp about to settle on my arm.
Now, remember the second phrase of the second sentence of the last paragraph? You know the expression, 'knee-jerk reaction'? Well, I had an arm-jerk reaction. Coffee arced up in a fountain and came down on my hair, my glasses, my face, my t-shirt, my trousers, the table and chair... I gave myself everything short of a coffee enema and I'd probably have had that, too, if I hadn't been wearing trousers. My clothes are in the washing machine, I've swabbed the table and chair and the sun has gone back behind the clouds. I'm very glad Mr G was out at the time or I would never hear the end of it!
10 hours ago