Years ago, I was strolling around Ruislip Lido when I experienced a suidden, fiendish itch in my groin. It burned, it was excruciating and no amount of jigging around or pressing my hand on it (couldn't start scratching my crotch in public, could I?) would get it to abate. When I got home, I had fiery red lines where the leg elastic had met my flesh. The elastic had nylon lace on it. Then I remembered my allergy to sticking plasters.
Since then, I have avoided lacy lingerie, lovely though it is. My skin has told me in no uncertain terms that it will NOT put up with that scratchy nylon thread like fishing line, that's used to sew on so many garment labels. So many labels also have scratchy corners that as soon as I buy anything new, I have to cut them out, sometimes damaging the garment in the process. (Why DO manusfacturers sew the labels in so well that they are embedded in the fabric of your T-shirt or dress?)
Last week, I bought some new M&S knickers, having surreptitiously opened the packet first to check for smooth gussets and lack of hidden lace. Everything seemed fine so I bought them and yesterday wore a pair for the first time as I was going for a massage and would be lying on the couch with them on display.
All seemed well till I was walking through Debenhams afterwards. Suddenly, I got a most fiendish itch on the left, just where my pants met my old operation scar. I scrabbled inside my jacket, trying to get my jeans to do the work of scratching for me. No luck. In the end, I resorted to surreptiously scratching through my jeans pocket, like a pervert, hoping nobody would notice.
I got home, examined my underwear anf there was no sign of anything that could have caused it. I can only think it was a reaction between the massage oil and the elastic this time.
OR... and this is a big, scary or, I picked up a flea last night when visiting the lady whose cat I am going to be looking after for the next few days. It is huge, it is ginger, it is surly and it was hopping. I caught a flea while being introduced to him and plunged it swiftly into my glass of water, before flushing it down the loo. So I am on my way there now with antihistamines and a canister of flea spray. Wish me luck!
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8 comments:
Scratchy lace has never suited my skin either. If a bra has lots of fancy lace and it's not the soft kind like Warner's French Collection used to have, I couldn't wear it, no matter how pretty. My daughter's the same.
As for that nylon twine in garment labels - I have to cut that out, too. Get yourself a proper 'stitch ripper' for getting the labels out.
See one here:
http://tinyurl.com/3mw5fc
It's interesting that you mention you are allergic to sticking plasters. My mother is, too, but it's the zinc in them that's the problem. This means she can't use talcum powder or go near zinc & castor oil cream either.
I'm sorry, but I couldn't help laughing over your description of the public pubic itch. (Dare I do a cartoon of that, I wonder??) If it's a flea from Big Surly Ginger, I would suggest you tell your friend to get some Frontline put on him (the cat) before you begin your stay with him. If you have to buy it yourself (you can get it from pet shops now after filling in a form) then add it to your cat-sitting fee.
Speaking as your little sister, I have no comment to make on how allergic you are to wearing knickers! Washing powders make me itch and scratch, so I've just invested in Ecoballs. No, not a substitute for hubby; but hopefully my delicate bits (and the septic tank) will benefit from washing clothes in pure oxygen. (Is this some kind of scam - I'll keep you posted.)
So Merrylegs is my little sis, eh?! I thought you were my old friend Nic who popped up on my blog a while back making sarky comments about what I was wearing! You shouldn't have owned up. Then you could have got away with saying all manner of nasty things!
Merrylegs was a horse in Anna Sewell's novel 'Black Beauty'. It's also a variety of cider apple.
Does your little sister resemble a horse or an apple, Hydra? :-)
Merrylegs has a horse. Her cheeks resemble two ripe apples as a result of galloping around the Lakeland fells on said horse. Occasionally the rosy glow is augmented by a glass or two of the local brew, Hesket Newmarket Doris's 90th. When Hydra visits later this month, she will benefit from much the same therapy, and be reinvigorated as eitherva totally new woman, or a knackered one -with or without her knickers (nearly typed 'knockers - oops).
LOL, Merrylegs. Nice to meet you.
Hi jacula, sorry don't understand LOL, except he was my dad, short for Lawrence. Up here in the wilds of Patterdale, the stags are beginning to roar. That means they'll soon be rampaging round the garden, along with the rabbits, badgers, foxes, red squirrels and weasels. Re Hydra's monster spider: they hate oil of cloves, so it's worth spraying a bit around.
Merrylegs - LOL means 'Laugh(ing) Out Loud' and is used on the internet or in mobile 'phone texting as shorthand.
I also knew a Lol who was a Laurence.
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