Trollopuss and the Slug

I may have quoted these songs lyrics of mine aeons ago, but now that we're on the subject of slugs, it seemed high time to share them with you again. I've written the melody to go with it and one day I might actually get round to recording it and posting a link. I wrote it after seeing little Trollop (aka Trollopuss, RIP at the age of 21), lying in the middle of the lawn one evening, curled around a fat, juicy slug.

TROLLOPUSS AND THE SLUG

1.
Trollpuss in the garden gave something a hug.
When we went to investigate we found it was a slug,
Fat and grey and greasy, curled up nice and snug,
From the look she gave it we could tell they were in love.

CHORUS
Trollopuss and the slug, oh Trollopuss and the slug,
From the look she gave it, we could tell they were in love.

2.

A cat can look upon a queen, it can look upon a king.

For a cat to look upon a slug, ain’t that the darnedest thing?

Curled up close together, lying face to face,

That slug gave her the slippiest kiss that lips could ever taste.

REPEAT CHORUS

3.

Feather and feather, fur and fur can dally, date and dance,

But gastropod and feline – God, they haven’t got a chance!

If they got round to making love, what would they call their brat?

Would the bug be a furry cug or a little slimy slat?

REPEAT CHORUS

4.

The moral of this little tale is, know when you are beat.

Sometimes on life’s slippery trail you must admit defeat.

When her lover tried to slither off, the poor heartbroken cat

Gave that slug one last big hug and squashed the bugger flat!

REPEAT CHORUS AND FADE

(c) Lorna Read 1999