Sore finger: ouch. Must stop playing so many computer games.
Piles: double ouch. Must stop eating porridge, aka Scottish concrete.
Back: minor ouch. Must buy new computer chair.
Feet: medium ouch. Have been wearing wellies a lot, which contain no arch supports. Nerve in left foot is throbbing like mad and I couldn't bear the bedclothes on it last night.
Hair: recovering its condition after four swims turned it to straw.
Skin: extra dry and itchy because of fan heater, necessary as Mr Grumpy won't have the radiators on.
Stomach: okay for the last few days. Miracle! Perhaps it's due to all that porridge.
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