Surprise present

When I met Mr Grumpy, I told him that few of my relationships had lasted longer than two years. I have since read that this a crucial development period in a relationship and if it can survive two years, it can generally go on for a lot longer.

Mr G obviously took this to heart for two days ago he presented me with a small box, saying, "This is to mark the anniversary of our seventh two-year relationship."

Like a flash, without thinking, I said, "It's only the sixth, we've been together 12 years, not 14, and anyway, we met in April and it's now June so it's not even our anniversary." What a dumkopf I am sometimes, letting reality crash down on the romantic moment.

"Whatever. Open it," he said. Inside was a very pretty pair of earrings, silver and amethyst in a Celtic design.

Once again, I had to ruin the moment by reminding him that the piercing in my right ear had closed up, which is why I hadn't been able to wear earrings for ages. Nevertheless, I jabbed and shoved and managed in the end to repierce my ear, with slightly bloody results. But it enabled me to wear his gift all day.

Now though, I am paying the price of love with a sore, swollen ear. Still, better than a dose of the clap!!!