A tour around my body

Over the years (no, I'm not going to mention how many), I have been beset by an amazing variety of ailments, which keep me on, and sometimes off, my toes. I think of myself as the original happy hypochondriac, except that not all my woes are imagined. Perhaps I am possessed by a Bad Health Imp who flits invisibly round me, pinching each bit in turn and making sure it gives me a moment of pure hell.
During the course of this Blog you will meet and get to know the following notorious characters:
* The Stiff Shoulders and their good friend, Nasty Neck
* The Dodgy Ankle
* The Awful Ulcer (excruciating) and its good mate, The Acid Attack
* The Mighty Migraine (not just a bad headache...)
* The Very Irritable Bowel (poke it with a peanut and it flares up and stings like an angry hornet)
* The Pestilential Piles (no, anything but the PP's!)
* The Wandering Stye (can appear anywhere round the rim of either eye)
* The Food Foes (peppers, onions, garlic in any form, especially puree, citrus fruits, rhubarb, chillis and prawns when carelessly mixed with red wine)
* The Sneaky Cystitis (works undercover with The Acid Attack and The Food Foes)
* The Travel Sickness (gives bucket shop air tickets a whole new meaning)
* The Insomnia. I call my version Busy Brain Syndrome.
* The Random Failures (these included the occasion two months back when my jaw, suddenly and inexplicably, slammed shut, to admit only thin slices of bread, soup and ginger biscuits for an entire two weeks)

and finally, perhaps the worst of all,

* The Awkward Arthritis (allows coins, cups and kettles to slip from fumbling fingers)

Just in case you're wondering how one person can possibly bear having such a wide variety of ailments, let me tell you that it's just possible to stumble through the average day with a grin still pasted on one's suffering face, SO LONG AS THEY DON'T ALL ATTACK AT ONCE!

As my blog unfolds, I shall mention the remedies I have found by trial and error and hope you will be good enough to share yours. Happy Hypochondriac Healers Unite!